Why do cats (or dogs) insist on stomping on your nuts when they jump up on the couch?

It happens way too many times for it to be just a coincidence. And I'm not buying that "what happened?" expression on their face when I yell out in agony.

And I'm typing in falsetto right now.
 
My cat will usually lay on my chest when I'm crashed on the couch. I think my heart beat reminds her of her mom when she was a kitten. I dunno.

But she uses my crotch as her stepping stone on the way there.
 

Mr. Daystar

In a bell tower, watching you through cross hairs.
Because their nuts are located in a different place, and don't know where human nuts are. They just wanna love you. My cat constantly tries to lick my hands. Clean or not, he's always trying to lick my hands.
 

Mr. Daystar

In a bell tower, watching you through cross hairs.
Sam's are at the A.P.L., so is his left eye. He's still the spawn of satan.
 
I have worries about my kitties wanting to use my morning wood as a scratching post. When I hear them jump on the bed or approach while laying on my back I try to turn over to my stomach carefully also not wanting to bend my wiener in half.
 

FreeOnes_Adam

FO Admin - 19 Cents of Magical Cock (her/shey)
Dogs are clumsy and trample anything and everything.

A cat, however, has this thought out well in advance and purposely has sought out to smash your nuts on principle alone. And you should be grateful for it as well, you know.
 
Because they can?
 
A cat, however, has this thought out well in advance and purposely has sought out to smash your nuts on principle alone. And you should be grateful for it as well, you know.

I don't doubt it. They probably like how it squishes under their feet and when we're in the throes of agony, they find that amusing as well.
 
I also have known cats to climb on top of people and lie down on them while they are sleeping to make them uncomfortably hot, usually not in the winter where it might help. I'm pretty sure they do it on purpose.

Don't forget the trick they pull where they lie on their backs making themselves look like they want their belly to be petted only to latch onto somebody's arm with their claws once somebody tries to do so.
 
I also have known cats to climb on top of people and lie down on them while they are sleeping to make them uncomfortably hot, usually not in the winter where it might help. I'm pretty sure they do it on purpose.

Don't forget the trick they pull where they lie on their backs making themselves look like they want their belly to be petted only to latch onto somebody's arm with their claws once somebody tries to do so.

Yeah my late cat would do that. She'd bite down on my arm and do her back claw disembowlment routine but never once broke my skin. I admired her discipline.

And it was once believed (mainly among gypsies) that cats would lay on your chest and steal your breath while you slept, but that was debunked in a documentary:

 
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