Re: Guys check this out, especially the women (OCSM's especially): "Schrödinger’s Rap
Geezus! It seems like everyone here is misunderstanding Spexy
She
NEVER said anything about women. What she's saying about men is simply common sense.. we need to have our wits about when alone in the company of strange men, men you don't know. and best not to trust them or give them the benefit of the doubt for your safety. It's not that difficult to comprehend is it?? :dunno:
...
Mandy, considering that all kinds of crimes against women are committed
OVERWHELMINGLY by men, I think it's justified to generalize them
Obviously there are men that are good hearted, but that doesn't excuse those who are abusive/violent. To ignore that would be to sweep the problem under the carpet. And about women.. when was the last time we read that a girl raped a guy? Once in blue moon.. maybe? :dunno:
Ok, I tried to remain out of the discussion going, I gave my :2 cents: two cents before, and stand to that. Yet the way this discussion is going, I can't just look on and not say what goes through my mind.
I feel sorry for Spexy for having gone through something so terrible I can't even fathom to understand how she must've felt / how she feels. Though I can understand that she, as a former victim, will have certain anxieties and fears which might not seem rational to everyone, but then again, since when are fears rational?
What most here can't understand comes from the fact that they have a certain point-of-view, which places
logic and
rationality before other things. When you say
"we need to have our wits about when alone in the company of strange men" we don't quite get it. Is "strange" someone you don't know? Or someone who seems to look or act strange (out of the perceived normal)?
You,
zdenka, keep saying that
"all kinds of crimes against women are committed OVERWHELMINGLY by men" - now while I could discuss with you about
all kinds - I will accept for a given fact that most violent crimes against women are commited by men.
What you don't seem to acknowledge though, is that about 4/5 of those crimes are committed by people known by the victim such as Partners (Husbands, Boyfriends, etc.), Collegues (from work, fellow students, etc.), Relatives (Father, Brother, Uncle, Cousin etc. etc.). Those are also the crimes which are the majority of the
not reported crimes. Now considering that the absolute majority of crimes are commited by those who are well within the sphere of trust of the victim, what people won't understand is this
overwhelming fear of
"the Stranger". From a purely rational-logical view-point,
"the Stranger" constitutes the minority of worries/problems. From an emotional-psychological stance though, as fears are intrinsically irrational, it is comprehensible.
Now if one were to take these fears to an extreme, as the author of the Article (from 2009) does, then one would have to be willing to go all the way on this.
- Every man who is not within the sphere of trust, is "Schrödinger's Rapist" - in the definition of the Author a take on the
Schrödinger's cat - hypothetical experiment - meaning every man at the same time is and isn't a Rapist;
- Now if every (unknown) man that will address a woman, is potentially seeking to rape and murder her, no one can be trusted;
- If no one can be trusted, the woman should take measures to protect herself, and not be exposed to contact with these
"strangers". This means she should not:
* Go out of the house without exactly leaving said where she is going, what she will be doing;
* Go out of the house without being armed (whatever personal arms are legal within her jurisdiction - pepper spray, taser, firearm);
* If she does not wish to go out of the house armed she should at least have 1 big bad dog;
* If she also cannot have a big bad dog, she should not go out of the house without being in company of other female friends, or a known male chaperone;
* She should avoid any (unwanted) contact with strangers;
* It would probably be best to avoid certain jobs as these put you into (potentially dangerous) contact with
"strange men", for example: waitress, receptionist, nurse, paramedic, social worker, teacher, public administration, politics, etc.;
* Maybe it would also be best to conceil oneselves as much as possible.
Does this all sound somewhat familiar? I'm sure it does, because it's supposed to sound familiar. Reminds you of certain precepts of fundamentalists from various Abrahamic Religions doesn't it? Also this had been forced upon women in certain parts of the world with the motivation that it
"is all for their own good and protection". Now if you're still confused of what I mean, we're taking Afghanistan as an example, the Taliban, and limitations on women's freedoms in order to protect them from violent crimes and rape.
Thing is, it doesn't really work out that way does it? There are literally millions of Afghan women who have been raped over all these years. The violent man behind those crimes wasn't
"the Stranger" though, but somone from within the family (blood-related or acquired through marriage). Don't you think that those women would have prefered to
take their chance with
"the Stranger"?
On the other thing about
violence perpretated
by women (on whomever) you point out that A) we hardly ever hear of it when it is against men; B) it is hardly ever of physical nature (except upon the weaker).
To A) I'll just say, if many women - who are victims of violent crimes - hesitate to report these crimes, because of a variety of reasons, then even more so men would be reluctant to report such crimes as society would mostly ridicule the male victim even further.
To B) it is appalling how some here would think that you can quantifiy and compare physical and psychological abuse and it's consequences on the victim. Both are different, but equally devastating, though perhaps the psychological damage can be more durable and lasting over time. To give a concrete example (which is even a very common scenario):
A minor girl gets raped and violated repeatedly by her own father;
The mother of the girl does know what's going on but does nothing to stop it;
The mother will even go so far as to not comfort her child, and even give her blame for what is happening to her.
In the end and over time - the physical damage will pass - but the psychological damage inflicted by the mother is everlasting and goes far beyond the psychological damage inflicted by the male.
Harley, while it certainly helps to try and recognize bad intentions it's going to be darn hard to do with strangers. You may THINK you've got him all worked out, but hunches are often wrong... and then it'll cost you dearly. It's less about paranoia, and more common sense. It's like locking your doors when you leave the house doesn't mean you live in constant fear. Doesn't mean you think everyone's a burglar.:
I never lock my door when leaving the house, and I've often left the keys in my cars ignition - now I know I can get a fine for leaving the keys there (but most often I simply forgot them) - and I try to avoid it. Hell I even left keys in the ignition and wallet on the passenger seat in a notorious part of Naples, South Italy, for 2 straight days and nights (I was visiting someone and had simply forgotten) and still found both at the place I left them and with everything there. If you wish to be a burglar and take from me, be my guest. Though I warn you, there's not that much to take.
Strangely, I once had forgotten my keys (I really don't do that on purpose, it just happens) in the cars ignition, and had parked it on the street, next to an identical model (same build, same year, same color). The next day while going to retreive the keys, I met the owner of the other car who was in tears. Someone had stolen his car that night, even though it was locked and with the antitheft on. They could have just opened my car, turned the key and gone away... guess it was too easy for them.
Now after this little :2offtopic:
You don't really have to lecture Harley about common sense, she had been a victim too. It's just that, as everyone reacts differenty, she reacts in her own ways.
Last word of the post to Spexy: don't let certain things here get to you. Do what you feel you must do to be able to feel safe again when going out of your house. Maybe, to most, you are a bit exagerating from the rational-logical point-of-view, but if that's what it takes for you to be comfortable than be it. If people can't accept that, it's their problem.
