Am I justified?

[grower_boy]

People change when they grow up sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. I had a similar situation with a kid who was my best friend since 1st grade. In 10th grade we had a bit of a fight just before he moved away. He only moved about an hour out of town, but because he was now attending a different school and we'd been fighting, we didn't speak for a year or so. When we finally re-connected, he'd changed quite a bit. A lot more drinking and hanging out with morons. He's still pretty cool and a somewhat close friend, but its a lot different now when I see him.

In your situation, I'd either try to let him know that he's gotta cut the shit or just cut him loose altogether. You can't keep people from changing, as much as you'd like to, but perhaps you can let him know you think he's changing for the worse.

That's good advice, man. Whenever I try to talk to him about these issues, he'll say sorry and then usually turn around and pull that crap again in the next couple of days. I guess I just gotta accept who he is.

for what it's worth i'm not close to hardly any of my high school friends anymore. i'm still friends to an extent with most of them. civil at least but so much has changed with most of us that we hardly even know each other and it's just an awkward situation when we run into each other. that's how it goes though. i found that of the people i went to school with that i ever spend much time with are people i didn't really know then ironically.

I know what you mean. Every now and then I'll run into one of my high school friends and even though it's only been 3 years, it already feels awkward a lot of the time. I just usually don't have much to say.

It's time to cut him loose. He started flaking out on you after you left high school. He might have been the same way with his "cooler" friends and they got rid of him. Therefore returning to "Ol' Reliable" you. For what it's worth, you are not the first person to come to this crossroad nor will you be the last.

I feel like that could be exactly right. I don't know what happened between him and those cool kids, but he hardly ever parties with them anymore. I have a feeling if he still was, he wouldn't be hanging out with me again as much.

Dude calls me up and says that he is being tossed out of his place by the end of the day. Seems that the house-mates he was paying rent to never paid the landlord. We grab his stuff and I move him in with me. I tell him no rent. Save your money to get another place. Always food in the fridge. If you need cash then I will keep a tab and it is a loan. This is a 1 BR apartment. I work overnight and he works during the day. I would come home from work and wait for him to get himself up and out the door to get my bed back. Not a big deal, just a little inconvenient. I'm helping a guy out.

This started in early June. Mid August he says it may be another month or so till he finds a place that's right. I tell him,"Dude, It's time to go. 2 weeks notice." I help him move into his new place. Now over the course of time I would pick up some eggs or soda or little shit for him when I went to the store. I'm not going to tab this little shit. The tab ends up to be a VERY rounded down $65. He says he will have it for me next week. Cool.

I go to his place to pick up my cash and he says that something happened to his check and he will have it for me next week. I'm heading down to AC and that money would have been nice to have. I don't think that I should have to chase my own money. I tell him to stop by and drop it off. 3 months later he knocks at my door looking to charge his cell phone. I ask if he has my $65 and he says no. I tell him to come back and charge his phone when he has my 65 bucks. That was a year and a half ago. Amazing how some people have such short memories.

Bob.

Good story. I can't blame you for handling things that way, though it likely pissed the other guy off big time. :1orglaugh

I'll put it like this. I'm 47...my best friend now, is the same best friend I had in high school. We have in the past, not talked for extended periods of time, but for no reason, and picked right up where we left off. If I needed this guy to bail me out at 3 in the morning, or back me up for ANY reason, he would be there RIGHT NOW.

Do you see this guy being there ANY TIME, for ANY REASON? If not, he's not your best friend, and if he only hangs out with you because of things you provide....you're basically his sugar daddy.

Remember, the difference between a friend, and a best friend...........A friend will help you move, a best friend will help you move a body.

He always says he's there for me when I need him, but I don't know.

I have dropped 'friends' like this guy over the years. Too many people who just want to take advantage of people. I am always eager to lend a hend, and, well, I learnt how to proffesionally paint and so on, and I always help when people move to a new appertment, funny enough, many times when I move, they can't make it etc.

Just stop calling them and thell them straight out: Don't call me again.

I guess they can't try to follow in your footsteps. They can only rely on you for everything.

I had a friend like that once. The creepy texting part of it was why I
stopped being friends with the asshole. I found out a few years later
that he was trying to make people think we were gay. I sure found
out who my real friends were back then. Good luck Bro, and watch out
for the back door faggotry.

LOL! :1orglaugh I'll try my best...

 

[Rhyno17]

First, it sounds like you're both still in high school (just saying this is a very teenage, not adult problem). Secondly, no real friend hangs out with someone and expects to have stuff bought for them all the time and borrow money and never offer to pay back or even treat sometimes ("No man, you got the last round, I'll get this one" situation). I say stop with the charity and see if he sticks around.

You have to give a little too though. Not going outside to, I'll assume chat or something. because wrestling is on. C'mon. It's a T.V. show. I hate when people get annoyed with things like that. If it's a movie pause it, a show, download it after. Unless it's like a once in a lifetime live event, it's just entertainment and your friends should come first. Ignoring a friend for wrestling seems really childish (again, no offense, but it sounds like it).

 

[Rhyno17]

Ooops! Double posting

 

[bobjustbob]

A buddy of mine came up with something with his group of friends. I was not involved in this. They had a school friend that turned out to be a leach on all of them. One day while sitting around he says, "Let's go out tonight. I'll drive and won't drink. $5 each for gas and separate checks." All was set up for the leach. They all agreed that they didn't have much money but it was fine including the leach. Leach kicked in his 5 for the tank.

They went out to eat and leach only had 2 bucks. He drank water and watched them eat. Went to a bar. They drank and he didn't. Tried it again and leach didn't have the $5. Okay come for the ride if you want. Same thing. Leach wised up and cut himself out of the group.

 

[Aaliyah Love]

Why would you even consider being friends with a grown ass man who has to borrow money from his friends? Dude sounds like he's 14yrs old.. Are you both 18+? Because honestly, these sounds like the concerns of someone still in highschool..
The 1st time that shit happened I would cut him out of my life. Do you really need to ask on a forum if you're justified or not? I think just from reading the short paragraph that you posted that the dude is a loser, a user, and not a real friend at all.

 

[Aaliyah Love]

First, it sounds like you're both still in high school (just saying this is a very teenage, not adult problem). .

Yeah, exactly. This whole thread reminded me of the people I knew, circa Sophmore year in highschool..

 

[SabrinaDeep]

Stop DRINKING WATER in the US, It clearly makes you stupid. Especially because you're not sure about that guy yet and you have to come over here to get assured about it.

 

[Rhyno17]

Yeah, exactly. This whole thread reminded me of the people I knew, circa Sophmore year in highschool..

I know right! The whole complaint just sounded like something from, well high school like we said. Adults don't worry about having 7 dollars or leaving during wrestling lol.

 

[Mr. Hyde]

Why would you even consider being friends with a grown ass man who has to borrow money from his friends? Dude sounds like he's 14yrs old.. Are you both 18+? Because honestly, these sounds like the concerns of someone still in highschool..
The 1st time that shit happened I would cut him out of my life. Do you really need to ask on a forum if you're justified or not? I think just from reading the short paragraph that you posted that the dude is a loser, a user, and not a real friend at all.

I didn't want to be the first to say this.

No, actually, I was just too "who gives a shit" to say anything at all, but you said it the way I'd have said it.

 

[luis1972]

Stop DRINKING WATER in the US, It clearly makes you stupid. Especially because you're not sure about that guy yet and you have to come over here to get assured about it.

among other things...

 

[PirateKing]

Sacrifice that useless piece of garbage to Satan.

 

[grower_boy]

Why would you even consider being friends with a grown ass man who has to borrow money from his friends? Dude sounds like he's 14yrs old.. Are you both 18+? Because honestly, these sounds like the concerns of someone still in highschool..
The 1st time that shit happened I would cut him out of my life. Do you really need to ask on a forum if you're justified or not? I think just from reading the short paragraph that you posted that the dude is a loser, a user, and not a real friend at all.

I'm 21 and he's 20. If he were a recent friend of mine or a guy I didn't know too well, I wouldn't need to ask a forum if I was justified or not. But when you've been someone's friend for 12 years and they have done stuff for you in the past, it's a bit more complicated than You Might think.

Stop DRINKING WATER in the US, It clearly makes you stupid. Especially because you're not sure about that guy yet and you have to come over here to get assured about it.

Do you really think I'm stupid?

I know right! The whole complaint just sounded like something from, well high school like we said. Adults don't worry about having 7 dollars or leaving during wrestling lol.

If you think the issue is about 7 dollars, You Missed the point completely. It was about him lying to me. He told me had money in his pocket, then he told me he had liquor at his house and it all turned out to be BS.

And I apologize that I would rather watch my favorite show than step outside to hear someone tell me their latest stupid story about their girlfriend.

 

[Rhyno17]

And I apologize that I would rather watch my favorite show than step outside to hear someone tell me their latest stupid story about their girlfriend.

Then maybe he might have to question you, because any real friend is not gonna mind missing a TV show (that can be downloaded an hour later) to talk to their friend. If you don't like him, that's fine. But don't call him your friend if you would rather watch TV than talk to him. That's ridiculous.

 

[grower_boy]

Then maybe he might have to question you, because any real friend is not gonna mind missing a TV show (that can be downloaded an hour later) to talk to their friend. If you don't like him, that's fine. But don't call him your friend if you would rather watch TV than talk to him. That's ridiculous.

You can "talk to your friend" anytime, especially when it's not about anything important. You can only watch a live TV show once.

 

[cindy CD/TV]

Am I in the right for feeling that way?

Yes. He's taking advantage of you. Friendship, the way I see it, is built on trust and honesty -- and it's a two-way street. Your friend has lied to you and violated your trust too many times. Call bullshit, and then see how he responds. Be prepared to jettison his ass and walk away with a clear conscience. Good luck, my friend.

 

[Rhyno17]

You can "talk to your friend" anytime, especially when it's not about anything important. You can only watch a live TV show once.

Actually I watched it when I was in middle school and it's replayed later that night, as well as the next day. Not to mention downloading, streaming, etc. Anyway, I don't wanna argue with you, because this is silly lol

 

[Alyssa Rose]

What I think you mean Ace is that YOU don't give a fuck, because if "nobody" gave a fuck then he wouldn't have all these responses of solid advice now would he?


Anyways back to the OP,
I know it's going to suck but you need to cut him out of your life. This is a toxic friendship and it's only going to get worse the longer you let it happen. People change. He's an asshole. I don't even ask for my boyfriend to pay for my shit why would I ask for a friend to?

It's different if it was a rare occurrence and one night he needed some extra cash because he forgot his wallet or payday wasn't until a few days from then or something but all the time is a bit much.

 

[Lurch53]

I know how you feel bro. I was in a similar situation with a ex-friend of mine. We were friends for 10 years (from grade 9 up until about 4 years ago). We were thick as thieves and I did everything for the guy and never asked for anything in return. I'd buy him beer, I'd order pizzas, I sometimes even paid for his concert tickets if he didnt have the money and never asked for it in return. He used to try to pay me back sometimes and I would say no I'm not that kind of dude. Eventually he started expecting it all of the time though, even when I was broke and he would get pissed off (similar to your friend) if I didn't. Then about 4 years ago an ex gf that I was with at the time told me he tried to put the moves on her one time when we were partying and I lost it. I called him every name in the book and the douchebag never denied it which made it worse. He was all proud of it actually. So my advice is to ditch the dude man. Get him out of your life. He's not the same person he once was and he will continue to leech off of you and make you feel bad for it just like my "friend" did to me.

 

[grower_boy]

What I think you mean Ace is that YOU don't give a fuck, because if "nobody" gave a fuck then he wouldn't have all these responses of solid advice now would he?


Anyways back to the OP,
I know it's going to suck but you need to cut him out of your life. This is a toxic friendship and it's only going to get worse the longer you let it happen. People change. He's an asshole. I don't even ask for my boyfriend to pay for my shit why would I ask for a friend to?

It's different if it was a rare occurrence and one night he needed some extra cash because he forgot his wallet or payday wasn't until a few days from then or something but all the time is a bit much.

Thanks for "giving a fuck," lol. :1orglaugh I know you're right about this...the guy expects me to buy him everything from snacks to morning after pills, and I'm done with it. He hasn't texted me much lately, which tells me he is getting the hint that I am tired of his ways.

I know how you feel bro. I was in a similar situation with a ex-friend of mine. We were friends for 10 years (from grade 9 up until about 4 years ago). We were thick as thieves and I did everything for the guy and never asked for anything in return. I'd buy him beer, I'd order pizzas, I sometimes even paid for his concert tickets if he didnt have the money and never asked for it in return. He used to try to pay me back sometimes and I would say no I'm not that kind of dude. Eventually he started expecting it all of the time though, even when I was broke and he would get pissed off (similar to your friend) if I didn't. Then about 4 years ago an ex gf that I was with at the time told me he tried to put the moves on her one time when we were partying and I lost it. I called him every name in the book and the douchebag never denied it which made it worse. He was all proud of it actually. So my advice is to ditch the dude man. Get him out of your life. He's not the same person he once was and he will continue to leech off of you and make you feel bad for it just like my "friend" did to me.

That guy sounds like he turned out to be a terrible person. You did all that for him over the years and he repays you by trying to steal away your girlfriend? Not cool at all. Thanks for the cautionary tale...I will do my best to avoid being in such a situation.

 

[Moonchild22]

That's what you do.